Okay, what if I got sucked down the plughole?

When I was younger, (a couple of years ago), when bath time was over, I used to place my foot over the plughole as the water drained away. It essentially created a vacuum and also some rather weird and disturbing gurgling noises. When I was really young, (a little more than a couple of years ago) I used to think the great bath monster was trying to suck me into the deep dark confines of his world underneath.  I was curious as to what I would find, but not curious enough that I wished to look into the long dark pipe, my eyeball likes it’s current home just fine.

animals-29525_150But what if I did get sucked into the plughole and transported into the vast network of pipes below. I would of course need to be smaller, so small in fact that I would have to climb into a passing bubble for both stability and transport. Call it my own personal little forcefield to shield me from all the bumps and bashes I would feel on the way.

Imagine how quickly I would become lost, floating, spinning and gliding beneath a million houses as above I hear the laughter of children, splashing and playing, and jump as they try to push the head of a yellow rubber duck into the pipes with me. Strange how when you are so small, something as innocent as a little rubber duck can seem so menacing.

Whizzing on past a group of girls discussing their latest conquests in a bathroom and a group of boys doing likewise in theirs. As it turns out this is much better than being a fly on the wall, and certainly better than reality TV by the sounds of things. Sadly there is no time to hang around, bath water waits for no one it would seem.

The pipes start to widen and above I can hear traffic, sirens and the everyday hustle and bustle of daily life. It would appear I’ve left the relative safety of the smaller network of residential pipework and as they all merge into one the current becomes much stronger and I have to hang on for dear life.

Twisting, bumping and rushing now, this is more like a fairground ride as I navigate a minefield of abandoned shopping trolleys, plastic bags, broken toys and deflated footballs. Perhaps this is the Bermuda Triangle for all things discarded.

mermaid-161845_150I no longer wonder where the trolleys and larger items came from as I see the mouth of the pipe before me, approaching much quicker than I would like. Ahead a vast blue ocean waits, the end to my amazing journey. Picking up pace I spin, breaking into the sunlight and gliding effortlessly across the calms waters, like I am a stone being skimmed by a skilled hand. Slowing down I sink beneath the water and there before me is a Mermaid……but that’s a whole other story!

41 thoughts on “Okay, what if I got sucked down the plughole?

  1. Reblogged this on The Indecisive Eejit and commented:
    Okay, what if Jed was awesome enough to allow me to be a contributor on his site? Well he did, and here is my first post. It’s scary but exciting to write for another blog and I welcome the challenge. I just hope I don’t let him down.

    Check out his site, there are great posts from the man himself and there will also be posts in the future from the new contributors as well!
    Worth a follow? Oh I think so 🙂

  2. This brings back memories. When I was way younger, I used to wonder what happened to the bathwater and where it went. Then a relative remarked, “watch out for your toe!” I didn’t want to know anymore.

  3. I remember when “Finding Nemo” came out and they had a report on the news about why you shouldn’t let your kids “liberate” their fish via any household drains.

    In other words, I hope I never get sucked down the bath drain *shudder*.

    • It seems familiar, I might have seen bits and pieces but I will check it out. Do you remember a random film called Joes Apartment. The little cockroaches sang a song called sewer surfing and it was funny, its kinda like this too. Not sure if its on YouTube or not but I must check when I get home. Thanks also for the kind words 🙂

    • Thanks muchly! I think.i.may have seen bits of it, but i will check it out. Do you remember a film from way back called Joes Apartment. In it cockroaches sing a song called Sewer surfing, its quite funny, but I’m not sure if it would be on.youtube or not, i’ll have to check later lol

  4. Whoo Hooo!

    Well done Juls! So bloody well done!

    Excellent piece – truly entertaining while being inspiring and thought provoking.

    Your story has me thinking about swimming pools – and the actual dangers of the drains – and remembering how – despite being such a strong and accomplished swimmer who never wanted to leave the water – one fine day, standing on the high dive – I saw clearly to the dark bottom and stared at that damn drain – and was paralyzed with fear. Proof positive there was some drain monster waiting to suck me in and hold me down until I drowned an ugly death.
    Sheesh – thanks for the memories!

    Lol – great story! 🙂

      • At one point I was fearless …. then the drain … oh the drain … well let me tell you, that ended any diving/jumping off the boards for fear I would plummet like a stone to the bottom and be grabbed by the drain!

        It held a terribly macabre fascination and fear for me. Still does, come to that. Hmmmmm … as she wanders off to scrutinize the bath tub …

        • roflmao — oh crap! Great! I’ve started an anti-swimming pool revolution!

          Sorry, didn’t mean to.

          Look, just avoid the drains, stay in the shallower ends and it should be fine …..

What are your thoughts? What if you shared them?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s