What if I could float?

soap-224000_150I’ve been thinking and it has come to my attention that floating could be a very useful ability. I mean walking is great, but imagine the wear and tear you could save on your body if you could just float everywhere you wanted. Maybe my knee and ankle pain would even be a thing of the past.

Those early morning. half asleep trips to the bathroom might be a lot safer if I didn’t have to worry about tripping over my own feet. That first trip downstairs would be less of a nuisance. Just float down to the bottom and into the kitchen for that first cup of coffee.

relaxed-148083_150I wouldn’t have to get up at work every time I printed something on the printer. I could just float out of my chair to the printer and back. No more up and down, up and down every time I print my reports. No more asking a co-worker to hand me the papers and getting the evil eye.

It would be great when outside, keeping up with the little ones. If they tossed a ball to me and it’s way too high I could just float higher to catch it before it got by and rolled under the vehicle as it is sure to do. When the Frisbee was stuck in the tree or on the roof I could just float a bit higher to reach it, saving a lot of trouble and upset children.

That trip to the zoo, or the carnival, or the flea market is going to be much more delightful. No worry of sore legs or cramps and no need to worry how I will feel tomorrow. Just float as long as I want, all around to get to see everything. No need to explain to family why I didn’t see the guy selling swords at the flea market or the balloon pop game at the carnival. Normally I would just say “I guess I didn’t make it that far” and then be mad at myself.

I could float across overgrown areas in hopes of getting better pictures. Float out above the water at the lake to get a quality picture of nature and wildlife. Maybe float out into the ocean to get a beach picture from the water.

house-37495_150Painting the house would be a breeze. No need for a ladder or professional help to paint the second story. As a matter of fact most household chores might be a little easier. You could change overhead light bulbs in a flash. Dusting the ceiling fans and light fixtures would be a simple task.

Now floating is different from flying and there are limits. I couldn’t just take off and fly across the city to the local supermarket, but once I was there I could float along the aisles without the need of touching the dirty floors. I could shop barefoot and worry free if I wanted and if the store allowed it.

No need to worry about aging and needing a cane or walker. Since I would just float everywhere I wanted it wouldn’t matter how weak my legs get. Give me a destination and it’s off to the races, no matter how old I get.

Yes floating would be a wonderful ability. Anybody know a genie with a wish to grant?


A few ideas and places that could make the ability to float more useful

1) Hovering above a public toilet. Especially useful for the ladies. No worries of any skin ever touching a public surface.

2) Car surfing. Remember the scene in the Teen Wolf movie where he goes surfing on top of his friends van? I would never try this if I had to be coordinated enough to keep my balance, but if I just have to float slightly above the van it could be a lot of fun.

3) The neighbor’s yard. Float across the yard all you want and never touch the lawn. Laugh at those stay off the grass signs as you dance slightly above the surface. Just dare your neighbor to say something.

4) National TV. I wonder how much money that guy who walked the high wire across Niagara Falls made? There could be a lot of money and fame involved if you were able to use your floating ability and turn it into a daredevil act.

5) The bedroom. I’ll let you use your imagination here but I will say the new positions could be very interesting.

Where would you use your floating ability?

8 thoughts on “What if I could float?

  1. Who’s to say that floating ability wouldn’t decrease with age? Or perhaps it would increase? There could be schools where those with the ability to float could learn to hone their skills.

    A whole range of possibilities here. 🙂

    • I think if I floated I would want to be home schooled. Not sure if enough floaters to make their own school and I’m sure people would find a way to bully you, jealous of your ability.

      You do bring up some interesting points about the age factor. Have to think on this a while.

  2. Being able to make other things float as well would make it useful for my job — instead of having to get our material handler to bring metal and take parts, I could make it all float and push it around with frictionless ease.

    • Well Rob, now you are just being lazy and greedy. Floating yourself is not enough, you want to float other things as well!

      Then again that does make for some very interesting thoughts. I wonder how crazy I could drive the cat if I just floated it around for fun. At work I could float co-workers phones away and watch as they searched all over, knowing they are floating overhead. Lots of ideas for this possibility.

  3. Now floating is different from flying and there are limits.

    Most of my dreams about flying really are about floating.

    More on-topic and with considerations of reality, I think much of what the astronauts experience with less gravity will tell you about what floating would be like in real life.

    • If I could float gravity could kiss my —.

      Being an astronaut is on line with the floating ability as you mentioned, but I think it might be a little late in life for me to start a new career to become one. Maybe I could just sneak onto the next space mission. I don’t think the Russians have the greatest security.

      • Heh. I think you may do better to get in tip-top shape and see about private spaceflight. Then again, that could involve some serious $$$… so, good luck with a stealthy stowaway plan, not that I think luck would have lots to do with it.

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