Moving to a new home, a new town and a new job is always a traumatic, stressful situation, but this time it was the beginning of the weirdest few days of my life. It all started when my boss offered me a promotion. I would get a company car, a large pay raise and be head of the new office. Problem was the office was on the other side of the country! The offer was too good to refuse so I took the plunge, uprooted my life and headed out into the unknown.
I had been given the opportunity to make a previous trip out and get everything ready for my arrival. During the visit I found a quint little three bedroom house in a quiet neighborhood that provided everything I needed to start this new chapter of my life. Now upon arriving I realized just how empty the home would be with just me living there, especially after having spent the last couple years living in a single bedroom apartment. Guess it’s about time to start the search for the right woman to share my new life with.
First thing to do though is start unpacking, get all the essentials out and then get to cleaning this new home. I already have so many ideas I want to get started on to make this place my own. I think I might start with the fireplace and see if I can get a little heat in here. This quint little house is a bit cold.
Wow, I think I picked a bad place to start. This fireplace is nasty and has a pretty strong foul odor inside. It looks like something might even be stuck in the chimney, blocking it up. I know it’s probably a bad idea, but I’m going to get the broom and see if I can’t knock whatever is up there loose. A couple whacks and I can see something is definitely up there but it’s moving so I keep poking at it.
Suddenly a large mass comes exploding out the hole along with a cloud of soot and ash filling the room and causing the worst coughing fit I have ever had. After a couple minutes of coughing, hacking and wiping the soot away I approach the mess to begin the process of removing it. When I start picking at the pile I realize there is something really wrong about what is in front of me.
The more I plunder the more I become sickened. Among the ash and soot looks to be a pile of human bones, a skull and a large amount of red fibers. It even looks like an intact red bag is among the debris. I know I should immediately call the police, but my curiosity has the better of me and I have to keep looking. The bag has my interest as it looks like it may contain something inside.
I pick it up, knock as much soot off as I can and notice a white fuzzy band around the edge. The material almost seems to be glowing despite the layers of grime. The glowing becomes even more apparent as I open the bag. Looking inside I see what seems to be an endless amount of random items, The bag is about the same size as a large trash bag yet the inside is endless. I can’t see sides or a bottom.
Wait, could this be? Is it possible?…………..
What do you think about my random what if for today. Do you think maybe I really discovered the body of the famous Santa Claus? How long has he been trapped in that old chimney and why couldn’t he escape? And of course the biggest question of all…
Do I notify the world I have proof that Santa is real, then destroy his iconic image by bringing out his pile of bones?
Maybe I’ll keep it to myself, that way no one but me will know about the magic sack of goodies!
****What would you do if it happened to you?****
Okay, What if ? 
For a second I thought this was a biography…. Great story!
Maybe it is? You never know what could be out there! Glad you enjoyed it.
What if the person who touches the bag has to become the next in line……
I think I’ll turn it down and just keep the bag. Too much responsibility for me even if I get to eat all the cookies I want.
Ooh chills! If I discovered a dead Santa, my childhood would just collapse. 😛
That’s what I would be afraid of. If I show the world it could destroy it!
If time is money you’ve made me a wetaehilr woman.
Did you check the roof for the sleigh and reindeer? Could cause problems (IE: leaks) if they’re still up there.
No. They are long gone. I think maybe Prancer was the leader in causing Santa’s predicament and it wasn’t an accident!
I’d take out an ad and start charging admission to see the remains of Santa; for an extra $25 each I’ll let people reach in and grab one random item from the bag.
That’s a good idea. Might need to charge more than $25 though. The security you would need would be expensive.
I was just going to toss $100 off the top of my head because you never know what you’re gonna get — but I wondered how many takers there would be. Some people will take a gamble like that, but not as many have a Benjamin to throw down on it.
This is Santa. People will find it if they want it bad enough. Ever seen the wall to wall crazies throwing down plenty of Benjamins and more in a casino?
I figured it would be a gambler’s delight — but how does the bag respond? What if the bag decides who’s naughty or nice? Then what if a truly evil person reaches in? You might need insurance or a signed waiver too!
A signed waiver would be a must!
Agreed!
You’re a sick f***, JED. How could you? 😉