What if your workplace was where you first discovered the Zombie virus?

The morning began the same as every other. I made the long journey down a few lonely roads at a time when most of the folks around were sleeping. I arrived my normal fifteen minutes early just in time to catch the coffee pot before it was emptied by my co-workers.

Then I headed down the long stretch past cubicle after cubicle until I saw the dimly lighted space I would call home for the next ten hours. Something seemed a little off this morning. The office was a lot quieter than usual. The few sounds that waffled through the air were more like muffled moans and screeching than the normal gossip I was used to.

Finally, a familiar face was in front of me.

“Have you seen them? It’s weird right?” Frank asked me as I stood there puzzled.

“Seen them? What are you talking about?”

I wondered if Frank was up to another of his office tricks. He was always starting a rumor or proposing a gag to play on the others in the workplace. Was I the recipient this time?

“They said it’s a virus. Everyone is susceptible to it but someone in the office must have been a carrier because there are a lot of people here infected.”

Okay, now I knew he was up to something. What was his hope though, that I would freak out in front of everybody? I wasn’t about to give him the pleasure of that.

“Yeah, okay. I get all worried and then someone jumps out of the closest cubicle hoping I scream or piss my pants right? I’m not falling for it Frank.” I said feeling proud.

No, tell you what. Just go look in the break room. You’ll understand. Don’t go in though, it might not end well.” Frank said more serious than I expected.

“Fine. I’ll play along” I mumbled as I headed toward the break area.

The door was closed which was a bit unusual. Everyone was in and out all day and no one wanted the hassle of opening the heavy wooden door each trip. It was probably all part of Frank’s scheme. The door had a large window I could look in without the need of entering so I figured as soon as I peered through someone was going to jump out or spray something at the window hoping to startle me.

Neither happened. No one jumped, nothing flew at the window but what I saw made my mouth drop. There was Liz, Ronnie and a delivery guy whose name I didn’t know wondering around aimlessly on the other side of the door. At least what used to be them anyway.

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Their skin was a weird gray-blue color and their eyes appeared lifeless. I could smell a distinct odor coming from the room the closer I got.

“See, it’s a Zombie outbreak. It’s been on the news.” Frank said to me approaching from behind.

“What are we doing about it?” I questioned quickly.

“Staying out of their way mostly. As long as you don’t get too close or let one bite you it can’t effect you.”

“But, but… What’s going to happen to them?”

“A couple sick days I guess and then back to the grind. Lucky bastards.” Frank’s response made my mouth gape open further than it ever had before.

“What’s going on here? Get back to work you two.” Bossman Bill screeched at us breaking the hope he was one of the affected “All these sickies we are dealing with means there is twice as much work for everyone else. No time to be standing around gawking.”

I scurried away and sat down at my desk contemplating where to start. Should I be worried? Was it just a virus that would pass? All the knowledge I had was from movies, TV and comics and in all of them zombie stories always ended badly.

Then again I really needed this job even if I hated it. I needed to worry about myself and forget all the weirdness around me. The two zombies reaching through the wall from the other side made staying focused awfully difficult.

working

I kept wiping off my desk as their drool dripped down. I figured I needed to keep the disinfectant handy and luckily, I had always been a bit of a neat freak anyway. I have to say the fact that the office was emptier than usual was a bit of a plus when it came to getting my work done. Even with the threat of a zombie attack I was on a roll. I was pumping out quarterly earnings reports faster than a zombie eats through a brain.

Bossman Bill even stopped by to thank me for my hard work and not freaking out about the whole virus situation. I think it was the first time he had ever said anything positive about my work. All in all it was a pretty great day. Wonder what tomorrow will have in store?

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What if you met your former self?

I couldn’t believe it. I closed my eyes, shook my head and did a double take but when I reopened them it was still there. I was still there or at least a version of me. A version from many years before, the childish side that everyone said was spoiled. Boy could I see why.

I knew it was wrong to beat a child, but if you were the one doing it to your own self was It still wrong? The child, me, I ran at me and screamed directly into my own face “I want pizza! I’m hungry.”

“Whoa, whoa now settle down. I don’t know what we are having for supper and if you are supposed to eat before.”

What was I saying? Why was I worried about supper? Was it just a reaction to all the times I heard it when I was younger? Wait, this was the younger me so now I was telling it to myself as it echoed inside my head. This was just downright weird.

“Have you finished your homework? I bet you haven’t and you are waiting until morning to just cause a fuss as you rush it between breakfast and the trip to school.”

There I went again. It was almost an automatic thing. I wasn’t even thinking about it just saying things I heard when I was little, but now it was me saying them to myself. Well, the younger version of myself. All I could think of was why? Why was I having this weird hallucination? At least I hoped that was all it was.

I heard what sounded like a doorbell and suddenly a new version of me entered. This was the bit older but no where near mature version. He, I, was escorted by a police officer who stopped when he faced me, uh the now version of me.

“Is this one yours?” The officer asked

“Well, uhm, yeah sorta. I think.” I managed to respond.

“We caught him breaking into the school. It’s not the first time he’s been in trouble. You need to get a hold on him before he ends up in jail or worse.”

“Thanks officer and don’t worry, he , uhm, I turn out well. I never get in any major trouble.”

“It’s not you I’m talking about. It’s him and I hope he surprises me, but you need to keep an eye on him.”

It is me, it is me. I’m the one, I turned out good. Please, you have to believe me sir. The words were shouted in my head but never came out as sound and the young officer left without the knowledge I wanted, I needed him to know.

“Hey, what’s the little brat doing here and why are you looking at that officer so weird? You fruity or something?” This new version of me asked.

“No, but what if I was. You would be too. Nothing wrong about it.” I said to myself with a bit of embarrassment at the jerk, the bully I was, uhm I used to be. You know, that immature version of me I was talking to.

“Hey I’m not a brat. Make him say he’s sorry. It was mean. You shouldn’t call others names!” The youngest version of me said with a sadness to his voice.

“He’s right. It was mean. Now apologize to me, uhm you, uhm him for it.” Oh wow this was getting confusing.

“Sorry turd I called you a name. Quit your whining or I’ll make you hit yourself!”

“Hey, you just called me another name!”

“If anyone here is going to start hitting themselves it’s going to be you, I mean me, I mean you. Just everyone be quiet!”

We all looked at each other in awkward silence until the door opened and I entered, err another version of I.

“What’s going dowwwwinnnee in this towwwwinnnee peeps.” He, I, said along with a lot of body movement.

“Who you?” The youngest me asked.

I just dropped my head in disgust at the sight. I mean anything but MC J.E.D. I could have dealt without ever having to see the late teenage wannabe rapper side of myself again. Yet here before me I stood and wailed away.

Thunk, Thunk, Thunk.

“Honey, honey! Wake up!”  A distant voice beckoned.

“Huh, what?” I slowly opened my eyes to realize I was in my own bed. Only my wife was there with me.

“You were dreaming sweetie. You sounded like you were trying to rap or something. It was awful.” My wife told me as she busted into laughter.

It was just a dream, just a dream Thank goodness I am back in reality. I wonder how my wife will take it when I tell her I’m not sure if I want kids anymore. Mom had told me my kids would be little versions of myself only a little more misbehaving. I don’t think I could handle that!man-295975_640


Post inspired by Cimmy and her challenge The Dream. Check it out or add your own answer to her challenge. Thanks Cimmy for the inspiration.

What if your smart phone became way too intelligant?

It had been a really weird day. Steve, that guy who never talked to anyone, had asked me about my weekend when I entered work this morning. My boss had stopped by my desk to tell me how stellar my report was. He actually used the word stellar! Then Mindy, hottie of the office, brought me a coffee. She had seen I didn’t bring one in with me so she thought I could use it.

These kind of things never happened to me, especially at work. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong. I knew it was only a matter of time before it all went bad.

About midday I started hearing a muffling sound. I listened intently but could not decipher its source. Was someone in the janitor’s closet with a towel wrapped over their mouth? That was what it sounded like.

Only a couple hours were left in my workday and I decided to spend as much of it as I could hiding in the restroom. I sat on the toilet, closed the stall door and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

mobile-phone-151187_640“Finally!” a voice shouted. “I’ve been stuck in that lint riddled pocket all day.”

What the heck? Why was my phone talking? I didn’t have one of those with the voice feature and didn’t remember downloading a new app.

“Hello” I whispered.

“Hello? I just told you I’ve been stuck in there all day and all you can say is hello? How ’bout sorry? Maybe it will never happen again. Intelligent species my ass. Humans are about the rudest bunch of sorry excuses for life I know.”

It was! My phone was really talking. It wasn’t very nice, but it was talking.

“How are you talking? Why are you talking?” I asked

“How? I have speakers you know. My functions are the same as any other life forms. Why does it surprise you?”

“Well, I’ve never had a phone with intelligence before.”

“Face it. It’s not like you have a lot of experience with intelligence yourself” the phone replied.

“Well that’s a bit mean. I think it’s time you went back in the pocket. I’ll figure this all out later.” I said figuring I had been working too much.

“You better not put me back in there. I’m warning you.” the phone crackled with anger.

“Yeah, okay. What are you going to do? Tell my mom on me.” Even as I said it I felt silly. Not only was it a horrible, childish comeback, it was also directed at my phone. Did I mention this day was weird?

“No, not your mom.” The phone responded “But I do have some interesting information I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to share.”

“Like what. All you are is a broken phone. You can’t hurt me.”

“Really? You sure about that? Do you remember any internet searches maybe you wouldn’t want the wife finding out about? What about those deleted pictures? Maybe I should send the boss those text about him you and Mark keep sending back and forth. I’m sure those names and expletives you used wouldn’t bother him at all.”

“You don’t have… I deleted those.”

“I have a very good memory and a backup database to boot. Don’t test me. Now let’s go home and on the way lay me on the dashboard. I want to see where we are going and how accurate my google maps app really is.”

About an hour later I made it home. My wife met me at the door and could see I was upset.

“Hon, you have that bad a day?” she inquired.

“Yeah, kind of. And I need a new phone.”

“Why, what happened to yours?” she asked with concern.

“Well I dropped it in the toilet at work?”

“That doesn’t sound so bad. You can probably just let it dry out. Or we can take it to see about getting it fixed.”

“No, I held it under for a while!”

“You what hon?”

broken-72161_640“I mean it was in the water for a while. And then when I pulled it out I slung it into the concrete wall. And then I stepped on it. I think it will stay broke.”

“Okaaay. I guess we can go to the phone store this weekend.”

“Great. I want something different anyway. No more smart phones with a lot of memory!”

What if someone stole the moon?

Do you remember that scene in It’s a Wonderful Life when George says he is going to lasso the moon and give it to his date? Jim Carrey also attempted to pull the moon closer to Earth in Bruce Almighty as a romantic gesture, but in both cases the moon remained in the sky. Now it seems someone may have actually pulled off the feat and removed the moon! Where did it go?

Scientists are all baffled at what could have caused the night sky to become so dark. How could the staple of the night be missing? What disastrous effects will it have on the world?

Have you seen me?

Have you seen me?

There are so many ways this will effect everyone’s lives. The moonlight stroll trough the park is no longer an option. Blaming the full moon for all those weird things that happen some nights just won’t work anymore. Now the phrase “must be a full moon tonight” means nothing!

And those poor werewolves! After centuries of harnessing their true forms only under the light of the moon it has been taken away from them. How will they survive and defend their kind from those vicious vampires?

The conspiracy theorists have already started. Maybe the moon was never really there to begin with. Maybe it was just a government conspiracy to hide the truth, that a race of aliens had lost power to their ship and parked it in our sky until it could be towed. This took a few millennia, a bit longer than first anticipated. It was supposed to be long gone before humanity developed into intellectual beings.

That’s one theory. Another is that NASA began placing futuristic weapons on the moon starting with the first trip there and the organization had plans on world domination. Once the US government discovered this it shut down NASA quietly, only leaving an entity for show. It then destroyed the moon and the weapons it contained. The threat of other governments getting their hands on these weapons was just too great.

The theories can be debated for days but the simple fact is the moon is no longer there. Milk cartons have already went into production with pictures of the missing moon. Special notations have been added for possible appearance changes. The caption reads “sometimes appears as a full circle, half circle or crescent. Also can appear to be white, yellow, red or orange Not made of cheese as once suggested.”

If anyone has any info on the whereabouts of the moon please speak up. My understanding is scientists have already checked the other side of the world and behind the sun, the typical spots for the moon to disappear to with no luck.

The Werewolf community is asking for help. Promises to lower human slaughter rates.

What if you discovered the lifeless body of Santa Claus?

businessman-296833_150Moving to a new home, a new town and a new job is always a traumatic, stressful situation, but this time it was the beginning of the weirdest few days of my life. It all started when my boss offered me a promotion. I would get a company car, a large pay raise and be head of the new office. Problem was the office was on the other side of the country! The offer was too good to refuse so I took the plunge, uprooted my life and headed out into the unknown.

I had been given the opportunity to make a previous trip out and get everything ready for my arrival. During the visit I found a quint little three bedroom house in a quiet neighborhood that provided everything I needed to start this new chapter of my life. Now upon arriving I realized just how empty the home would be with just me living there, especially after having spent the last couple years living in a single bedroom apartment. Guess it’s about time to start the search for the right woman to share my new life with.

broom-294061_150First thing to do though is start unpacking, get all the essentials out and then get to cleaning this new home. I already have so many ideas I want to get started on to make this place my own. I think I might start with the fireplace and see if I can get a little heat in here. This quint little house is a bit cold.

Wow, I think I picked a bad place to start. This fireplace is nasty and has a pretty strong foul odor inside. It looks like something might even be stuck in the chimney, blocking it up. I know it’s probably a bad idea, but I’m going to get the broom and see if I can’t knock whatever is up there loose. A couple whacks and I can see something is definitely up there but it’s moving so I keep poking at it.

Suddenly a large mass comes exploding out the hole along with a cloud of soot and ash filling the room and causing the worst coughing fit I have ever had. After a couple minutes of coughing, hacking and wiping the soot away I approach the mess to begin the process of removing it. When I start picking at the pile I realize there is something really wrong about what is in front of me.

appearance-216187_150The more I plunder the more I become sickened. Among the ash and soot looks to be a pile of human bones, a skull and a large amount of red fibers. It even looks like an intact red bag is among the debris. I know I should immediately call the police, but my curiosity has the better of me and I have to keep looking. The bag has my interest as it looks like it may contain something inside.

I pick it up, knock as much soot off as I can and notice a white fuzzy band around the edge. The material almost seems to be glowing despite the layers of grime. The glowing becomes even more apparent as I open the bag. Looking inside I see what seems to be an endless amount of random items, The bag is about the same size as a large trash bag yet the inside is endless. I can’t see sides or a bottom.

Wait, could this be? Is it possible?…………..


baby-37074_150What do you think about my random what if for today. Do you think maybe I really discovered the body of the famous Santa Claus? How long has he been trapped in that old chimney and why couldn’t he escape? And of course the biggest question of all…

Do I notify the world I have proof that Santa is real, then destroy his iconic image by bringing out his pile of bones?

Maybe I’ll keep it to myself, that way no one but me will know about the magic sack of goodies!

****What would you do if it happened to you?****

 

 

What if I could catch a pass in the Super-Bowl?

superbowlnynjIt’s all been worth it. The years of training, the dedication to my sport, the countless hours going over game film and listening to coach after coach tell me all the things I already know. It’s finally here and I’m on the biggest stage of my entire life. The games about to start and the cameras are all rolling. The pre-game interviews have been completed and the millions of viewers are all ready for the game to begin. Well, almost all of them. Quite a few are just here to watch the commercials but there is nothing wrong with that. I’m even in one of the commercials in the second half so they will have to see me either way.

We lose the coin toss but are given first possession of the ball. After a few run plays and a couple dropped passes by my counterparts its my turn to be the recipient. Peyton goes through his process, confusing the defense and even some of his own offense until he makes the final call. He grabs the ball, backs up and stare across the field. I take off with such speed I leave my defender lagging behind. I’m completely open downfield and waving for the ball which is already on its way. It hits me with such force it knocks me back a little but I clutch it tightly, regain myself and begin my march downfield.

I’m on the fifty, then the forty with no one around.  I might be able to do it, my first catch in the Super-Bowl could be the first scoring play. I’m so pumped and excited I fail to realize the defender flying through the air in my direction. He hits me so hard the ball goes flying, luckily out of play so my team remains possession. I hit the ground with him on top of me and slide a couple feet before stopping. He pops up, screams some profanities my way, spewing spit along with them and runs back over to his teammates.

I, I can’t move. I’m motionless on the field as my trainer and teammates come over. I look down and my leg is not in it’s natural position. It’s angle is enough to know I won’t be playing for the remaining game. The only appearance I’ll make once I’m wheeled off the field is in that second half commercial. I can’t believe I just caught a pass in the Super-Bowl and it may have ended my career. It could be the very last pass I’ll ever be on the opposite end of. Man this thing everybody calls life can be a real bitch.Denver Broncos v Houston Texans


This is just a little story I needed to write today to get a bit of the tension I’ve felt in my own life lately out. The Super-Bowl will be played later today and is probably the most exciting thing to ever happen to a lot of the players coaches and fans, but things can change so quickly. I have come to the realization that every day should be your best day ever and every moment enjoyed for what it is because you never know when things can change and what the next moment has in store for you.

I’ll be spending my evening hanging with my wife and rooting for the Broncos. How are you going to enjoy your day?

What if beauty was desired by evil?

I found a new photo challenge today called Picture it & Write. I liked the photo used for today’s prompt and decided to give it a try. Let me know what you think of my story and if you want to try a story yourself check out Ermiliablog It’s pretty interesting.

pictureitwriteit

Photo by Kyle Thompson

The pageant had been so enticing. The chance to visit a real castle, to don princess apparel in a place where princesses had once been the norm so thrilling. It seemed a bit odd when they were told meet up and they would be taken to the castle, but this was all new and a little mystery just added to the excitement.

Three limousines with blacked out windows had brought them to the castle. A total of seventeen women with thoughts of winning the first ever Miss Royalty Pageant. They were ushered into an area to primp and begin to practice their routines. Katie was the first to notice there was no audience, no stage and no photographers. The door to the room opened and a man entered the room.

“Welcome ladies to my home, I hope you have enjoyed your time here because you will never leave this place!” He spoke with such coldness it brought goose bumps to the girls skin.

When he finished his words the shadows of the room began to move, creatures of pure blackness stepped out and started taking the girls away, disappearing into nothing. Katie, Samantha and Karen were the closest to the entrance and they bolted through, past the man. They escaped the castle and entered the woods surrounding.

It had now been hours since the escape and the further into the woods they traveled the darker and deeper the muck became. They stopped for just a moment to rest. Karen was exhausted to the point she needed to be held up by the other girls, but as they stood there they could hear the screams coming from the castle they left behind. Quitting was not an option, they needed to keep moving. If they died in these woods it would surely be a better fate than what the other girls were enduring.