What if your workplace was where you first discovered the Zombie virus?

The morning began the same as every other. I made the long journey down a few lonely roads at a time when most of the folks around were sleeping. I arrived my normal fifteen minutes early just in time to catch the coffee pot before it was emptied by my co-workers.

Then I headed down the long stretch past cubicle after cubicle until I saw the dimly lighted space I would call home for the next ten hours. Something seemed a little off this morning. The office was a lot quieter than usual. The few sounds that waffled through the air were more like muffled moans and screeching than the normal gossip I was used to.

Finally, a familiar face was in front of me.

“Have you seen them? It’s weird right?” Frank asked me as I stood there puzzled.

“Seen them? What are you talking about?”

I wondered if Frank was up to another of his office tricks. He was always starting a rumor or proposing a gag to play on the others in the workplace. Was I the recipient this time?

“They said it’s a virus. Everyone is susceptible to it but someone in the office must have been a carrier because there are a lot of people here infected.”

Okay, now I knew he was up to something. What was his hope though, that I would freak out in front of everybody? I wasn’t about to give him the pleasure of that.

“Yeah, okay. I get all worried and then someone jumps out of the closest cubicle hoping I scream or piss my pants right? I’m not falling for it Frank.” I said feeling proud.

No, tell you what. Just go look in the break room. You’ll understand. Don’t go in though, it might not end well.” Frank said more serious than I expected.

“Fine. I’ll play along” I mumbled as I headed toward the break area.

The door was closed which was a bit unusual. Everyone was in and out all day and no one wanted the hassle of opening the heavy wooden door each trip. It was probably all part of Frank’s scheme. The door had a large window I could look in without the need of entering so I figured as soon as I peered through someone was going to jump out or spray something at the window hoping to startle me.

Neither happened. No one jumped, nothing flew at the window but what I saw made my mouth drop. There was Liz, Ronnie and a delivery guy whose name I didn’t know wondering around aimlessly on the other side of the door. At least what used to be them anyway.

working3

 

Their skin was a weird gray-blue color and their eyes appeared lifeless. I could smell a distinct odor coming from the room the closer I got.

“See, it’s a Zombie outbreak. It’s been on the news.” Frank said to me approaching from behind.

“What are we doing about it?” I questioned quickly.

“Staying out of their way mostly. As long as you don’t get too close or let one bite you it can’t effect you.”

“But, but… What’s going to happen to them?”

“A couple sick days I guess and then back to the grind. Lucky bastards.” Frank’s response made my mouth gape open further than it ever had before.

“What’s going on here? Get back to work you two.” Bossman Bill screeched at us breaking the hope he was one of the affected “All these sickies we are dealing with means there is twice as much work for everyone else. No time to be standing around gawking.”

I scurried away and sat down at my desk contemplating where to start. Should I be worried? Was it just a virus that would pass? All the knowledge I had was from movies, TV and comics and in all of them zombie stories always ended badly.

Then again I really needed this job even if I hated it. I needed to worry about myself and forget all the weirdness around me. The two zombies reaching through the wall from the other side made staying focused awfully difficult.

working

I kept wiping off my desk as their drool dripped down. I figured I needed to keep the disinfectant handy and luckily, I had always been a bit of a neat freak anyway. I have to say the fact that the office was emptier than usual was a bit of a plus when it came to getting my work done. Even with the threat of a zombie attack I was on a roll. I was pumping out quarterly earnings reports faster than a zombie eats through a brain.

Bossman Bill even stopped by to thank me for my hard work and not freaking out about the whole virus situation. I think it was the first time he had ever said anything positive about my work. All in all it was a pretty great day. Wonder what tomorrow will have in store?

What if you met your former self?

I couldn’t believe it. I closed my eyes, shook my head and did a double take but when I reopened them it was still there. I was still there or at least a version of me. A version from many years before, the childish side that everyone said was spoiled. Boy could I see why.

I knew it was wrong to beat a child, but if you were the one doing it to your own self was It still wrong? The child, me, I ran at me and screamed directly into my own face “I want pizza! I’m hungry.”

“Whoa, whoa now settle down. I don’t know what we are having for supper and if you are supposed to eat before.”

What was I saying? Why was I worried about supper? Was it just a reaction to all the times I heard it when I was younger? Wait, this was the younger me so now I was telling it to myself as it echoed inside my head. This was just downright weird.

“Have you finished your homework? I bet you haven’t and you are waiting until morning to just cause a fuss as you rush it between breakfast and the trip to school.”

There I went again. It was almost an automatic thing. I wasn’t even thinking about it just saying things I heard when I was little, but now it was me saying them to myself. Well, the younger version of myself. All I could think of was why? Why was I having this weird hallucination? At least I hoped that was all it was.

I heard what sounded like a doorbell and suddenly a new version of me entered. This was the bit older but no where near mature version. He, I, was escorted by a police officer who stopped when he faced me, uh the now version of me.

“Is this one yours?” The officer asked

“Well, uhm, yeah sorta. I think.” I managed to respond.

“We caught him breaking into the school. It’s not the first time he’s been in trouble. You need to get a hold on him before he ends up in jail or worse.”

“Thanks officer and don’t worry, he , uhm, I turn out well. I never get in any major trouble.”

“It’s not you I’m talking about. It’s him and I hope he surprises me, but you need to keep an eye on him.”

It is me, it is me. I’m the one, I turned out good. Please, you have to believe me sir. The words were shouted in my head but never came out as sound and the young officer left without the knowledge I wanted, I needed him to know.

“Hey, what’s the little brat doing here and why are you looking at that officer so weird? You fruity or something?” This new version of me asked.

“No, but what if I was. You would be too. Nothing wrong about it.” I said to myself with a bit of embarrassment at the jerk, the bully I was, uhm I used to be. You know, that immature version of me I was talking to.

“Hey I’m not a brat. Make him say he’s sorry. It was mean. You shouldn’t call others names!” The youngest version of me said with a sadness to his voice.

“He’s right. It was mean. Now apologize to me, uhm you, uhm him for it.” Oh wow this was getting confusing.

“Sorry turd I called you a name. Quit your whining or I’ll make you hit yourself!”

“Hey, you just called me another name!”

“If anyone here is going to start hitting themselves it’s going to be you, I mean me, I mean you. Just everyone be quiet!”

We all looked at each other in awkward silence until the door opened and I entered, err another version of I.

“What’s going dowwwwinnnee in this towwwwinnnee peeps.” He, I, said along with a lot of body movement.

“Who you?” The youngest me asked.

I just dropped my head in disgust at the sight. I mean anything but MC J.E.D. I could have dealt without ever having to see the late teenage wannabe rapper side of myself again. Yet here before me I stood and wailed away.

Thunk, Thunk, Thunk.

“Honey, honey! Wake up!”  A distant voice beckoned.

“Huh, what?” I slowly opened my eyes to realize I was in my own bed. Only my wife was there with me.

“You were dreaming sweetie. You sounded like you were trying to rap or something. It was awful.” My wife told me as she busted into laughter.

It was just a dream, just a dream Thank goodness I am back in reality. I wonder how my wife will take it when I tell her I’m not sure if I want kids anymore. Mom had told me my kids would be little versions of myself only a little more misbehaving. I don’t think I could handle that!man-295975_640


Post inspired by Cimmy and her challenge The Dream. Check it out or add your own answer to her challenge. Thanks Cimmy for the inspiration.

What if someone stole the moon?

Do you remember that scene in It’s a Wonderful Life when George says he is going to lasso the moon and give it to his date? Jim Carrey also attempted to pull the moon closer to Earth in Bruce Almighty as a romantic gesture, but in both cases the moon remained in the sky. Now it seems someone may have actually pulled off the feat and removed the moon! Where did it go?

Scientists are all baffled at what could have caused the night sky to become so dark. How could the staple of the night be missing? What disastrous effects will it have on the world?

Have you seen me?

Have you seen me?

There are so many ways this will effect everyone’s lives. The moonlight stroll trough the park is no longer an option. Blaming the full moon for all those weird things that happen some nights just won’t work anymore. Now the phrase “must be a full moon tonight” means nothing!

And those poor werewolves! After centuries of harnessing their true forms only under the light of the moon it has been taken away from them. How will they survive and defend their kind from those vicious vampires?

The conspiracy theorists have already started. Maybe the moon was never really there to begin with. Maybe it was just a government conspiracy to hide the truth, that a race of aliens had lost power to their ship and parked it in our sky until it could be towed. This took a few millennia, a bit longer than first anticipated. It was supposed to be long gone before humanity developed into intellectual beings.

That’s one theory. Another is that NASA began placing futuristic weapons on the moon starting with the first trip there and the organization had plans on world domination. Once the US government discovered this it shut down NASA quietly, only leaving an entity for show. It then destroyed the moon and the weapons it contained. The threat of other governments getting their hands on these weapons was just too great.

The theories can be debated for days but the simple fact is the moon is no longer there. Milk cartons have already went into production with pictures of the missing moon. Special notations have been added for possible appearance changes. The caption reads “sometimes appears as a full circle, half circle or crescent. Also can appear to be white, yellow, red or orange Not made of cheese as once suggested.”

If anyone has any info on the whereabouts of the moon please speak up. My understanding is scientists have already checked the other side of the world and behind the sun, the typical spots for the moon to disappear to with no luck.

The Werewolf community is asking for help. Promises to lower human slaughter rates.

What if you got sucked into your blog?

iphone-338961_150Just imagine you are at your laptop, your smartphone or whatever device you use and one of your favorite blogs graces the screen. You are reading, maybe laughing a bit, maybe cringing at the thoughts produced, you are enjoying your time in the blogging world. Then suddenly a blast of light from your device envelops you and everything goes dark.

You awake a bit groggy, disoriented and upon looking at your surroundings it only gets worse. Around all you can see is words, pictures, cartoons, rows of faces and lists galore. What has happened and where are you. You begin walking until you bump into a large button that reads follow. Wait, are you inside your own blog?

How did this happen? How do you get out? You think “I can’t be stuck in the blogging world, I’ve got too much to do. How can I type my post if I am a part of them?” Then again, this could be fun. You might be able to find the inside track on blogging, quite literally.

So where should you begin? You decide to make the climb to the top of the page and see if you can change the current surroundings, after all you already know what’s on your own page. Where to check out first? You decide to head to the daily post and see what might be happening over there.

It works! You are now a blogging traveler, able to make the jump from one to the next with ease. The term blog-hop is taking on a whole new meaning. You begin to realize just how alive the stories on these blogs are as they take form around you. The posts, the thoughts, the fiction were always entertaining, but now they become enchanting.

railroad-166535_150Cars crash right in front of you, the werewolves howl so loud it is almost deafening and the vacation you always wanted to take seems to be happening all around. The animals talk while you listen and the tears flow as you watch the sadness unfold. The world is yours and you can travel wherever your will takes you. You have fun bouncing from one post to the next and you always try to remember to bound upon the like button.

Look out, that pingback almost hit you as it passed!

It’s getting dangerous around here. You need to be more careful. Most blogs are harmless, only there to entertain but if you end up on one that wants to trap you it could be the end. There may be no escape. Then there is the spam to consider. These blogs are crawling with it. You have to work around it and at the same time hope the spam filter doesn’t mistake you and boot you out.

Maybe it’s time you found the way back to the outside land. As fun and entertaining as all these blogs are there is too much to keep you busy in the real world. If you stay stuck inside the blog there may be nothing to inspire your next post.


Where would you go if you were sucked into the blogging universe? How would you spend your time? Can you imagine being a part of the stories? A virtual wonderland to navigate as you wished.

What if I could be a thief?

There is just something about thievery that seems sexy. Sure it is against the law, the commandments and your mother’s wishes, but maybe that’s part of why it seems enticing. Someone tells you not to do something and you automatically want to do it.

burglar-308858_150Anyone can aspire to be a super-hero, a professional athlete or a world leader. I want to be different. I want to be a world class thief. A mystery man in the shadows who strikes then disappears. Someone you may never see but will always fear.

I don’t think I could just rob random people on the street or anything. I see myself as a bit more Robin Hood. You know, steal from the rich and give to the poor. Of course since I’m poor I get to keep quite a bit for myself.

I might set up a web page for people to contact me. If they know of someone who received their riches by ill gotten means, I can relieve them of their funds. The people who financially gained at the expense of others

Let’s say someone is missing and the prime suspect writes a book about the law’s attempt to pin the disappearance on them. The book is a bestseller and they tour the talk shows. Everyone knows they are guilty and the whole time they are laughing their way to the bank. I can fix that.

A failing business burns down and takes two surrounding businesses with it. The authorities suspect arson but have no proof. The business owner walks away with a substantial payout from his insurance company while the other two business owners fight tooth and nail to get their stores back up and running. Is it coincidence his insurance policy was worth more than three times what his business was? Maybe someone should tell him he doesn’t deserve his gains or maybe someone should just take them from him.

There are also those that did nothing wrong yet don’t deserve the riches they receive. Like the filthy rich couple who win the Power Ball jackpot. As if the millions they have aren’t enough they now win more when so many other people are praying for help. They don’t need all those extra zeros in their bank accounts and I don’t mind helping relieve them of a few.

homeless-295489_150Then there are those who fake being poor to make some extra bucks. A man who stands on a busy corner holding a sign that reads homeless while accepting donations. After a few hours he collects his money and drives his benz home to count it. Maybe he isn’t rich, but he doesn’t deserve to keep what others worked hard for. Taking advantage of others generous nature is about as wrong as you can get.

So the inner thief in me wants out. Biggest problem is I usually can’t make it from the bedroom to the bathroom without stubbing my toe or tripping. Being a stealthy thief is pretty much out of the question.

Then again there are always movies, books and video games where I can immerse myself in the world of an outlaw thief. It’s not as sexy, but it’s a lot safer.

What if you discovered the lifeless body of Santa Claus?

businessman-296833_150Moving to a new home, a new town and a new job is always a traumatic, stressful situation, but this time it was the beginning of the weirdest few days of my life. It all started when my boss offered me a promotion. I would get a company car, a large pay raise and be head of the new office. Problem was the office was on the other side of the country! The offer was too good to refuse so I took the plunge, uprooted my life and headed out into the unknown.

I had been given the opportunity to make a previous trip out and get everything ready for my arrival. During the visit I found a quint little three bedroom house in a quiet neighborhood that provided everything I needed to start this new chapter of my life. Now upon arriving I realized just how empty the home would be with just me living there, especially after having spent the last couple years living in a single bedroom apartment. Guess it’s about time to start the search for the right woman to share my new life with.

broom-294061_150First thing to do though is start unpacking, get all the essentials out and then get to cleaning this new home. I already have so many ideas I want to get started on to make this place my own. I think I might start with the fireplace and see if I can get a little heat in here. This quint little house is a bit cold.

Wow, I think I picked a bad place to start. This fireplace is nasty and has a pretty strong foul odor inside. It looks like something might even be stuck in the chimney, blocking it up. I know it’s probably a bad idea, but I’m going to get the broom and see if I can’t knock whatever is up there loose. A couple whacks and I can see something is definitely up there but it’s moving so I keep poking at it.

Suddenly a large mass comes exploding out the hole along with a cloud of soot and ash filling the room and causing the worst coughing fit I have ever had. After a couple minutes of coughing, hacking and wiping the soot away I approach the mess to begin the process of removing it. When I start picking at the pile I realize there is something really wrong about what is in front of me.

appearance-216187_150The more I plunder the more I become sickened. Among the ash and soot looks to be a pile of human bones, a skull and a large amount of red fibers. It even looks like an intact red bag is among the debris. I know I should immediately call the police, but my curiosity has the better of me and I have to keep looking. The bag has my interest as it looks like it may contain something inside.

I pick it up, knock as much soot off as I can and notice a white fuzzy band around the edge. The material almost seems to be glowing despite the layers of grime. The glowing becomes even more apparent as I open the bag. Looking inside I see what seems to be an endless amount of random items, The bag is about the same size as a large trash bag yet the inside is endless. I can’t see sides or a bottom.

Wait, could this be? Is it possible?…………..


baby-37074_150What do you think about my random what if for today. Do you think maybe I really discovered the body of the famous Santa Claus? How long has he been trapped in that old chimney and why couldn’t he escape? And of course the biggest question of all…

Do I notify the world I have proof that Santa is real, then destroy his iconic image by bringing out his pile of bones?

Maybe I’ll keep it to myself, that way no one but me will know about the magic sack of goodies!

****What would you do if it happened to you?****

 

 

What if Santa took sacrifices?

What started as a normal conversation about Christmas between me and my sister today turned into a weird thought. I started wondering how Santa came across all those little elves willing to work so hard to make gifts for the world they would never get to see. Why are these elves willing to work long hours and live in the coldest part of the world?

My sister mentioned a sacrifice for Santa and I think she was originally making a joke about the cookies left on Christmas eve, but it got my mind working. What if Santa’s elves are really kidnapped or sacrificed children that have been forced to work as Santa’s slaves. They have been magically transformed into immortal toy making machines.

Santa_ClausI know this doesn’t seem like the normal cheery Christmas thoughts but my mind does tend to wander beyond the normal realm every so often. If a kid is naughty enough during the year and a stocking full of coal is not good enough, Santa stops by, stuffs the kid in his sack and carries it back to the North Pole. It seems like a legitimate possibility.
Continue reading