What if your workplace was where you first discovered the Zombie virus?

The morning began the same as every other. I made the long journey down a few lonely roads at a time when most of the folks around were sleeping. I arrived my normal fifteen minutes early just in time to catch the coffee pot before it was emptied by my co-workers.

Then I headed down the long stretch past cubicle after cubicle until I saw the dimly lighted space I would call home for the next ten hours. Something seemed a little off this morning. The office was a lot quieter than usual. The few sounds that waffled through the air were more like muffled moans and screeching than the normal gossip I was used to.

Finally, a familiar face was in front of me.

“Have you seen them? It’s weird right?” Frank asked me as I stood there puzzled.

“Seen them? What are you talking about?”

I wondered if Frank was up to another of his office tricks. He was always starting a rumor or proposing a gag to play on the others in the workplace. Was I the recipient this time?

“They said it’s a virus. Everyone is susceptible to it but someone in the office must have been a carrier because there are a lot of people here infected.”

Okay, now I knew he was up to something. What was his hope though, that I would freak out in front of everybody? I wasn’t about to give him the pleasure of that.

“Yeah, okay. I get all worried and then someone jumps out of the closest cubicle hoping I scream or piss my pants right? I’m not falling for it Frank.” I said feeling proud.

No, tell you what. Just go look in the break room. You’ll understand. Don’t go in though, it might not end well.” Frank said more serious than I expected.

“Fine. I’ll play along” I mumbled as I headed toward the break area.

The door was closed which was a bit unusual. Everyone was in and out all day and no one wanted the hassle of opening the heavy wooden door each trip. It was probably all part of Frank’s scheme. The door had a large window I could look in without the need of entering so I figured as soon as I peered through someone was going to jump out or spray something at the window hoping to startle me.

Neither happened. No one jumped, nothing flew at the window but what I saw made my mouth drop. There was Liz, Ronnie and a delivery guy whose name I didn’t know wondering around aimlessly on the other side of the door. At least what used to be them anyway.

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Their skin was a weird gray-blue color and their eyes appeared lifeless. I could smell a distinct odor coming from the room the closer I got.

“See, it’s a Zombie outbreak. It’s been on the news.” Frank said to me approaching from behind.

“What are we doing about it?” I questioned quickly.

“Staying out of their way mostly. As long as you don’t get too close or let one bite you it can’t effect you.”

“But, but… What’s going to happen to them?”

“A couple sick days I guess and then back to the grind. Lucky bastards.” Frank’s response made my mouth gape open further than it ever had before.

“What’s going on here? Get back to work you two.” Bossman Bill screeched at us breaking the hope he was one of the affected “All these sickies we are dealing with means there is twice as much work for everyone else. No time to be standing around gawking.”

I scurried away and sat down at my desk contemplating where to start. Should I be worried? Was it just a virus that would pass? All the knowledge I had was from movies, TV and comics and in all of them zombie stories always ended badly.

Then again I really needed this job even if I hated it. I needed to worry about myself and forget all the weirdness around me. The two zombies reaching through the wall from the other side made staying focused awfully difficult.

working

I kept wiping off my desk as their drool dripped down. I figured I needed to keep the disinfectant handy and luckily, I had always been a bit of a neat freak anyway. I have to say the fact that the office was emptier than usual was a bit of a plus when it came to getting my work done. Even with the threat of a zombie attack I was on a roll. I was pumping out quarterly earnings reports faster than a zombie eats through a brain.

Bossman Bill even stopped by to thank me for my hard work and not freaking out about the whole virus situation. I think it was the first time he had ever said anything positive about my work. All in all it was a pretty great day. Wonder what tomorrow will have in store?

What if the sock monster wanted more?

I think everybody has met that villain The Sock Monster. It usually hangs out around the washer or dryer and steals any matching socks it can get its claws on. It’s usually more of a nuisance than a problem, but recently my personal sock monster decided it was no longer happy with just socks. Now it wants more.

socks

The last time I washed my clothes and pulled them out the dryer I noticed a problem. Among my load was a pair of my pants that was fine before the wash, but now was missing one leg. The next time I washed a load it happened again. I don’t have too many pairs of pants so this was a bit upsetting. I’ve got one pair missing a right leg and one pair missing a left leg and now have to put on both to be fully clothed. I have to say two pairs of pants overlapping are rough on the crotch.

If I only wear one it looks like I’m trying to pull off some weird new style with one leg normal and the other daisy duke style. Again I have to say something, the daisy duke look is not the look for me. I really hope this doesn’t start happening to my work pants. The look would be especially hard to explain to my co-workers.

Anybody got any suggestions on what to do about my problem? Do I need to buy some different socks and hope maybe the monster will like them better? Socks are a lot cheaper to buy and if I’m missing a sock it looks better than a missing pants leg. Has this happened to anyone else? What happens if it gets tired of the pants legs too?

I’m afraid eventually any type of clothes will not be able to satisfy it and it will start looking for a substitute. What if I take a bath and when I get out I’m missing a foot. This is really a disturbing problem and I just don’t know what to do!

My favorite horror movie quotes revealed

My thirty favorite horror movie quotes revealed. In part one and part two I gave you my favorite horror movie quotes but not the movies they were from. Now I will share the quotes along with the movies and my opinions on each. Enjoy.

1) “I’m here to kick ass and chew gum, and I’m all out of bubblegum.”They Live – Rowdy Roddy Piper, aliens, subliminal messages and some laughs. Maybe not too many scares, but still a scary story.

2)  “Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.” – Nightmare on Elm Street – One of the most recognizable and best horror movies of all time. Freddy could give anybody nightmares.

3) “He-e-e-e-re’s Johnnie!” – The Shining – Jack Nicholson at his creepiest. I remember this as extremely creepy when I was a kid. Not so much today, but still fun to watch.

4) “They’re all going to laugh at you!” – Carrie – Everybody has probably heard this classic line, but not everybody knows what it’s from. Another great classic full of mayhem and carnage.

5) “They’re Heeere.”Poltergeist – Ok I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t know what movie this was from. The little blond girl and the TV. Still gives me the chills to watch it today. One of the best horror movies ever made in my opinion.

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6) “I have such sights to show you!”Hellraiser – I’ll admit it. This one creeped me out so much I have never went back to re-watch it. I keep telling myself I will but haven’t yet. One day I’ll build up the courage.

7) “Hi, I’m Chucky, wanna play?”Child’s Play – Dolls and clowns are always scary, and Chucky was the scariest. Too bad he wasn’t treated as well in the sequels but original is a great scary story.

8) “You’re going to need a bigger boat.” Jaws – I haven’t watched Jaws since I was small but this is a great line from a great movie.

9) “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun”Army of Darkness – One of my favorite all time movies and the best of the horror comedies. If you haven’t seen it give it a look, I think you’ll enjoy.

10) “They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What’s blood for, if not for shedding?”Candyman – Creepy, creepy, creepy. Nothing else needs to be said about this one.

11) “I want to play a game”Saw – Best of the newer horrors in my opinion and has the best ending ever. Really got me the first time I watched it.

12) “Do you like scary movies?”Scream – A horror movie about horror movies that you never figure out until the very end. Great story and fun to watch. Keeps you involved the whole way.

13) “When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons… were the fatties.”Zombieland – Not exactly scary, but a very enjoyable movie about the Zombie Apocalypse.

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14) “Good evening, Clarice.”Silence of the Lambs – A true horror movie. The psychological toil lasts a while.

15) “You’re a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You’re a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn shit-sucking vampire. You wait til mom finds out, buddy!”Lost BoysFunny, scary, weird and just an extremely good time when you watch. Seen it maybe a dozen times and enjoyed each viewing.

16) “Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won’t live through the night.” Leprechaun – Never would have thought a leprechaun could be scary until watching this. Afterwards you never want to meet one.

17) “I’ll swallow your soul!”Evil Dead 2 – Sam Raimi may have changed horror forever with his creative horror classics. Remade how many times now?

18) “Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don’t let her get away, Mommy! Don’t let her live!”Friday the 13th – Scariest Jason ever? The little waterlogged boy at the end of the original. Unlike the slasher that this franchise is known for, this is a great horror movie for just that, horror!

19) “It’s all true. The boogeyman is real and you found him!” – House of 1000 Corpses – Rob Zombie adds his take to the hillbilly horror and turns out a great enjoyable horror film. I love the ending to this pic.

20) “Your suffering will be legendary, even in hell!”Hellraiser 2 – read my opinion about the first one and multiply it. Not often a sequel is as good or better than the original, but this is one of those great ones. I think this quote is among the best, creepiest quotes ever.

21) “because I love you, and you‘ve got to let me EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINS!”Return of the Living Dead – How do you make zombies fun while making a bad movie a fun one to watch? Throw in punks, naked girls and talking zombies. One of my favorite “bad” horror films.

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22) “Run, insect. Run and tell those you will, what you will. Tell them there is something loose in their city which feeds on wishes. But tell them quickly, while you still have a soul” – Wishmaster – Something about that dginn always sends a shiver down my spine. I hope I never find a genie!

23) “Redrum. Redrum. REDRUM!.”The Shining – Such a classic movie it deserves two quotes. And I remember saying this a lot when I was little, but I had no idea what it meant.

24) “I thought you were good Paul… but you’re not good. You’re just another lying ol’ dirty birdy.”Misery – Wow, real people can be more scary than any ghosts or zombies. This movie makes you physically hurt just to watch it.

25) “Only demons should fear me. You’re not a demon are you? The angel said you were. I can’t believe that. I won’t. You’re my son.” Frailty – If you’ve never seen this movie, go out and pick it up now. I demand it. One of my favorite movies ever, not much blood but tons of goosebumps. Now go get it and enjoy.

26) “What an excellent day for an exorcism“ – The Exorcist – Not one of my favorite movies, but a great line from a demon so it deserved a place on the list.

27) “It’s Halloween. I guess everyone’s entitled to one good scare“ – Halloween – The horror genre would be empty without Michael Myers. Classic movie and franchise that always brings the scare factor.

28) “Sometimes dead is better.”Pet Cemetery – Who hasn’t wanted to bring back a loved one? This movie will make you rethink that and leave you watching the shadows for something terrible. Scary good movie.

29) “Now we wouldn’t want to wake your mother, would we Charley? ‘Cause then I’d have to kill her too, RIGHT?”Fright Night – New version has none of the charm of the original. Love to watch this one on a stormy night.

30) “What’s wrong, Joey? Feeling tongue-tied?”Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors – I could have probably filled this whole list with Freddy quotes, but thought better. Freddy is a hall of fame horror member for sure.

freddy

I had a lot of fun creating this list, I hope you had just as much fun reading it. Now enjoy the rest of your Halloween and try not to be too scared, or scary.

What if I could be a legend?

The following story was written for the Weekly what if challenge. What if you went TRICK or treating? Show us your best costume and/or trick.
The story is a horror story with a blood-splashed ending written for enjoyment and nothing else. Please read with this in mind.


6293852231_744b51d38bWhen my uncle passed he had left me a sizable inheritance, but I decided no one needed to know. My normal income was enough to take care of my daily needs and still leave me a few dollars to spend like I wanted. The inheritance money went straight into the bank until it was needed for an emergency.

Well the emergency was here! I had been invited to the best Halloween party in town and needed a costume. I was tired of being ignored by others, I wanted to create something no one had seen before and didn’t care about the costs involved. After several trips to the junkyard, the auto parts store, the fabric store and the craft store I had done it. The ultimate costume for an 80’s geek. I had created a working Optimus Prime look.

The robot look was all there and I had even created a voice changer to make me sound robotic. The best part was it was a true Transformer costume! At will, I could transform into a scaled version of a semi. Then all I had to do was hit the button and I was on my way. It had the ability to move at up to twenty miles an hour. There was no way anyone at this party had a better costume than mine. I mean, come on, a working, transforming leader of the Autobots! Even I was impressed with my work.

I drove myself to the party, pulling up to the front doors and seeing the line waiting to get in. There were witches, zombies, some sexy maids and a few idiots trying to look just like those creepy guys from Duck Dynasty, but nothing to come close to my costume. I stopped and cut the engine off then set in motion my transformation to robot form.

As I stood I fully expected to start hearing a chorus of cheers and people to come running, asking how I had accomplished such an awesome feat. Instead, everyone was staring in silence. I started walking toward the line and asked

“So, what do you think” In my robotic voice

The crowd busted out in laughter. There was a lot of pointing and snickering. I overheard words like dumb, corny and what a geek. I was stunned. All my work, my planning and they just considered it corny. I lost it. It wasn’t fair, this was supposed to make me a legend.

“You won’t be laughing for long!” I screamed, sounding muffled with the voice changer.

I took off running, a hard task with all the costume parts hanging about. Once clear of the crowd I stopped running and began planning. My brain went into motion with all that I had learned during the construction of my costume. I headed back home to gather the leftover pieces.

It took just over an hour, but I accomplished my task. Without concern for my own safety, I sped back to the site of the party. I stopped just at the end of the road and set up my final plan. It was time they paid for laughing, time for my legend to be born. I would be remembered forever after this night.

I made the last transformation and no longer resembled the Optimus Prime I had strived for. The site of me now was sure to cause hysteria, not laughter. Every angle of my suit of armor sharpened to a razor edge. Spikes surrounding a barb wire surface set to shed blood. The engine built to impress now supercharged to destroy.

I set the timer to the explosive I now carried, hit the button to start up for my last ride into the legend I was sure to become. I headed into the crowd of partiers at a speed well in excess of the capabilities my costume was originally built to endure. The look of shock on the first face was intoxicating, the leg sliced in two and the splash of blood hitting me just made me hungry for more.

The screams, the terror, the fun!


3179745914_439d0aefb9“Chief, what the heck happened here? Looks like we got at least a dozen bodies!”

“Best I can tell a car sped off the road right into the crowd”

“A car did all this? Are you sure?”

“As I said, best I can tell. The explosion caused such a mess we may never really know”

“Can we tell who drove the car? How we gonna write this up?”

“Nope, no way to tell one body from the next. We’ll just write this up as a terrible accident and try to comfort those with lost ones. Call the office and let them know we need to get some grief counselors out here.”

“I’m on it.”


And on this Halloween night, a terrible legend …. was dismissed. Even in death I was ignored.

My favorite horror movie quotes – list two

My second list of favorite horror movie quotes in honor of Halloween. See the first list here.

Do you know what movies these are from?
Is your favorite here or do you have a favorite not Listed? Let me know.freddy


16) “Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won’t live through the night.”

17) “I’ll swallow your soul!”

18) “Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don’t let her get away, Mommy! Don’t let her live!”

19) “It’s all true. The boogeyman is real and you found him!”

20) “Your suffering will be legendary, even in hell!”

21) “because I love you, and youve got to let me EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINS!”

22) “Run, insect. Run and tell those you will, what you will. Tell them there is something loose in their city which feeds on wishes. But tell them quickly, while you still have a soul”

23) “Redrum. Redrum. REDRUM!.”

24) “I thought you were good Paul… but you’re not good. You’re just another lying ol’ dirty birdy.”

25) “Only demons should fear me. You’re not a demon are you? The angel said you were. I can’t believe that. I won’t. You’re my son.”

26) “What an excellent day for an exorcism

27) “It’s Halloween. I guess everyone’s entitled to one good scare

28) “Sometimes dead is better.”

29) ” Now we wouldn’t want to wake your mother, would we Charley? ‘Cause then I’d have to kill her too, RIGHT?”

30) “What’s wrong, Joey? Feeling tongue-tied?”


Fifteen more of my favorite horror movie quotes. If you want to see a post showing each quote and movie it’s from let me know and I will post it on Halloween.

What if you creature-fied yourself? Halloween writing challenge

black-43585_640We are down to the last few days of the October writing challenge. Have you told everyone what would happen if you descended into darkness yet? What minion of evil will you become? What creature of darkness do you most see yourself as?

Posts will be accepted until midnight on October 30, 2013. (That’s US Eastern time zone. If you’re not sure there is a countdown on the InLinks page showcasing each entry).

On October 31st we will have voting enabled and you can let us know who posted your favorite stories.

Add your link to the InLinkz collection and then come back to vote for up to 3 of your favorite posts all day on Halloween. Winners will be announced on November 1.

You can use whatifchallenge as a tag to your post to make it easier to find in the reader.

Please use the InLinks button with the blue monster to add your submission. if you want to contact me or you would like to make a suggestion for a future What if writing challenge send me an email to thoughts@okaywhatif.com


Please add links via InLinkz to be eligible for voting


Click the picture for a link to the original challenge posting if you would like more information.

http://okaywhatif.com/2013/10/01/october-what-if-challenge-what-if-you-descended-into-darkness

My favorite horror movie quotes

In honor of Halloween I decided why not share some of my favorite horror movie quotes. I love a good horror movie and even enjoy a bad one sometimes. What would like be like without a little horror now and then?

Do you know what movies these are from?
Is your favorite here or do you have a favorite not Listed? Let me know.

shining


1) “I’m here to kick ass and chew gum, and I’m all out of
bubblegum.”

2) “Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.”

3) “He-e-e-e-re’s Johnnie!”

4) “They’re all going to laugh at you!”

5) “They’re Heeere.”

6) “I have such sights to show you!”

7) “Hi, I’m Chucky, wanna play?”

8) “You’re going to need a bigger boat.”

9) “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun”

10) “They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What’s blood for, if not for shedding?”

11) “I want to play a game”

12) “Do you like scary movies?”

13) “When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons… were the fatties.”

14) “Good evening, Clarice.”

15) “You’re a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You’re a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn shit-sucking vampire. You wait til mom finds out, buddy!”


There you go. Fifteen of my favorite horror movie quotes. By no means is this a complete list so I may be posting another list soon.