What if I had written the new Ghostbusters movie?

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I have seen a lot lately about this new version of the Ghostbusters movie that is currently being made. I still haven’t figured out if it is a remake or a continuation, but most of what I have seen says it is going to ignore the original films.

If they had asked me to make it there would be no way I could have ignored the original. How does that serve the franchise? I thought about it a while and came up with my own outline of what I would make of the idea of a new Ghostbusters film.

First off we would move the location from New York to Los Angeles. I figure New York has already had Zuul, the Staypuff marshmallow man and sewers filled with dancing slime, maybe they have had enough.

It would begin with a college girl who had always been interested in the occult finding out her professor was dabbling in dark magic. As she was trying to discover what he was up to she realizes he released a powerful demon. She visits the library to find out more about the professor and the demon where she runs into the nerdy, smart librarian girl.

Once they both get involved they find information about the original Ghostbusters, a team of heroes in New York who fought and won against powerful forces more than twenty years before but then disappeared and were forgotten.

Meanwhile the demon has opened a portal to release ghost and spirits all over LA. Can you just imagine the scenes with the walk of fame covered in famous ghosts rising from their own stars? Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk as a ghost in front of his own impersonator? Great cinema I think.

Eventually the two other girls would join, one being the hot girl who actually has brains and the other the girl who can kick anyone’s ass (notice I don’t have a problem with the all girl cast). Now we have our cast. Weird occult girl, nerdy librarian, hot girl with brains and bad-ass b****.

They find out a Hollywood a-lister has a car collection that included Ecto-1 but he decided it didn’t fit with his other cars and junked it. They find it along with designs for equipment and tada, Ghostbusters are reborn.

Eventually it would be revealed the original Ghostbusters were put in protective custody after discovering a mob boss and politician in New York had been using their service and captured ghosts, releasing them into apartment buildings to force tenants out of homes so they buy and rebuild. Or something to that effect.

This of course would lead to the cameo appearance of the originals who now live in LA and would reveal the original girl (aka occult girl) was the orphaned child of these two

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Who had no idea how to take care of a kid. Lots of Ghostbusting antics ensue and we all have a lot of good laughs until they have to take on the first demon released and we have the final battle that finishes the whole thing out nicely.

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Not sure if Vigo likes it but what do you think? Should I contact my agent?

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From the What If? movie studio

I haven’t done a What If? movie poster in over a year now but tonight I had an idea and a little extra time.

Super hero movies are all the rage at the theatre and zombies rule the TV screen so how could a movie that combined the two fail?

Zombie-Man

I will try to share more movie ideas as soon as they pop into my head. If you have an idea and think it could be made into a good movie poster let me know.

What if your sofa could speak?

sofaIf your sofa could speak

What would it say

Might it tell the dogs

Get your stinking paws off of me

It might even suggest

To keep the popcorn to yourself

If you can’t eat without dropping

Then just leave it on the shelf

Where would you be

Without the ability to relax

What if the sofa

Started charging you tax

It might even ask

You put away your feet

It just couldn’t take

The way they did stink

You take it for granted

Thinking it will always be there

But what if the sofa

Took off to the fair

You’d be losing a friend

You didn’t know you had

The family would just joke

Saying, awww that’s too bad

They would add in their take

Telling you right fast

Maybe it’s a sign

To get off your lazy ass!sofa2

What if your workplace was where you first discovered the Zombie virus?

The morning began the same as every other. I made the long journey down a few lonely roads at a time when most of the folks around were sleeping. I arrived my normal fifteen minutes early just in time to catch the coffee pot before it was emptied by my co-workers.

Then I headed down the long stretch past cubicle after cubicle until I saw the dimly lighted space I would call home for the next ten hours. Something seemed a little off this morning. The office was a lot quieter than usual. The few sounds that waffled through the air were more like muffled moans and screeching than the normal gossip I was used to.

Finally, a familiar face was in front of me.

“Have you seen them? It’s weird right?” Frank asked me as I stood there puzzled.

“Seen them? What are you talking about?”

I wondered if Frank was up to another of his office tricks. He was always starting a rumor or proposing a gag to play on the others in the workplace. Was I the recipient this time?

“They said it’s a virus. Everyone is susceptible to it but someone in the office must have been a carrier because there are a lot of people here infected.”

Okay, now I knew he was up to something. What was his hope though, that I would freak out in front of everybody? I wasn’t about to give him the pleasure of that.

“Yeah, okay. I get all worried and then someone jumps out of the closest cubicle hoping I scream or piss my pants right? I’m not falling for it Frank.” I said feeling proud.

No, tell you what. Just go look in the break room. You’ll understand. Don’t go in though, it might not end well.” Frank said more serious than I expected.

“Fine. I’ll play along” I mumbled as I headed toward the break area.

The door was closed which was a bit unusual. Everyone was in and out all day and no one wanted the hassle of opening the heavy wooden door each trip. It was probably all part of Frank’s scheme. The door had a large window I could look in without the need of entering so I figured as soon as I peered through someone was going to jump out or spray something at the window hoping to startle me.

Neither happened. No one jumped, nothing flew at the window but what I saw made my mouth drop. There was Liz, Ronnie and a delivery guy whose name I didn’t know wondering around aimlessly on the other side of the door. At least what used to be them anyway.

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Their skin was a weird gray-blue color and their eyes appeared lifeless. I could smell a distinct odor coming from the room the closer I got.

“See, it’s a Zombie outbreak. It’s been on the news.” Frank said to me approaching from behind.

“What are we doing about it?” I questioned quickly.

“Staying out of their way mostly. As long as you don’t get too close or let one bite you it can’t effect you.”

“But, but… What’s going to happen to them?”

“A couple sick days I guess and then back to the grind. Lucky bastards.” Frank’s response made my mouth gape open further than it ever had before.

“What’s going on here? Get back to work you two.” Bossman Bill screeched at us breaking the hope he was one of the affected “All these sickies we are dealing with means there is twice as much work for everyone else. No time to be standing around gawking.”

I scurried away and sat down at my desk contemplating where to start. Should I be worried? Was it just a virus that would pass? All the knowledge I had was from movies, TV and comics and in all of them zombie stories always ended badly.

Then again I really needed this job even if I hated it. I needed to worry about myself and forget all the weirdness around me. The two zombies reaching through the wall from the other side made staying focused awfully difficult.

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I kept wiping off my desk as their drool dripped down. I figured I needed to keep the disinfectant handy and luckily, I had always been a bit of a neat freak anyway. I have to say the fact that the office was emptier than usual was a bit of a plus when it came to getting my work done. Even with the threat of a zombie attack I was on a roll. I was pumping out quarterly earnings reports faster than a zombie eats through a brain.

Bossman Bill even stopped by to thank me for my hard work and not freaking out about the whole virus situation. I think it was the first time he had ever said anything positive about my work. All in all it was a pretty great day. Wonder what tomorrow will have in store?

What if? – The Sunday silly

What if I was jazzy

The right amount of zazzy

If I had the sway

I’d be all the rage today

You couldn’t resist my appeal

It would be so unreal

I would be the cure

And have all the allure

Oh, what if I was cool

And made all the girlies drool

Maybe even a few guys

I would be such a prize

If only I wasn’t a slob

Or not this big ole blob!

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Blobs want to be liked too!

What if you were an Elf on the Shelf?

Photo courtesy of Flicker

Photo courtesy of Flicker

Imagine you were that little shelf sitting fellow whose only job is to blackmail small children before the holidays. What do you see? What do you hear?

Now share it in a post and link it back for the What if 2014 holiday challenge.

See all the details including the link up box in the original post.

Not sure how to tell your story? Check out my take on the challenge here.

Happy Holidays!

Oh and I also had some random holiday questions you might be interested in answering to help get you in the holiday spirit. They are:

1. Where is the weirdest place you found yourself on Christmas morning?

2. What is the one present you wanted badly and have never gotten?

3. What is the one thing you wanted badly, got and wished you hadn’t?

4. Have you ever re-gifted? If so what and why?

5. If Santa is real would you really want to meet him in person?

6. How many Elves could fit inside the biggest Christmas present you ever received?

7. What is your favorite holiday movie, show and/or song?

8. What is your least favorite holiday movie, show, and/or song?

9. What would you name a reindeer if you could? Why?

10. Do you think Santa could benefit from a healthier snack on Christmas eve or are cookies and milk the only choice? What would you recommend for the jolly old fat man?

You can see the original questions post on JED’s Playhouse here.