What if I answered just 5 questions?

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Image from Wikipedia

The process of asking yourself a What if question is actually a lot harder than it looks. I am in awe of how Jed manages to answer so many and still come up with sensible well written content, I tip my hat to him.

I on the other had have been pondering for a few weeks, the subject matter for my next post and I came up with….nothing, not one single idea! Oh sure I asked myself questions, but I wasn’t able to answer them. So, in a quest to keep my ‘end up’ so to speak on the site, I decided to dive head first into the great pool of the Internet, in search of inspiration.

Apparently, what if questions are a good conversation starter, or if you’re already in the middle, a good way to keep it flowing. Now by conversation starter, I don’t mean it gives you Carte Blanche to walk up to a male / female in a bar and ask “What if I made you breakfast in the morning.” That’s just presumptuous and a total miss use of the What if system. “Hello there, what if I made you breakfast in the morning?” would however have been perfectly acceptable, for some weird reason.

There are a vast array of questions out there, some of which made me cringe, some of which made me blush, which is actually incredibly hard to do. A fair few have actually already been covered by Jed here on this very site, which just goes to prove the scope of the mans talent. I am going to give you a run down of my top 5!

What if you could be a bird, what bird would you choose to be?

I’m breaking myself in gently here, that would of course have to be a penguin. Let’s face it, had I chosen any other type, the people in my life who have been buying me penguin related merchandise for years would be a little put out, they might also attempt repossession.

Penguins – what’s not to love, the little black and white bird with wings that cannot fly, uses them as flippers instead to cut through icy water like a torpedo. I might have to rethink meal times though, I would not be a lover of raw fish, despite how cute Pingu made it look!

What if you could do any job, what would you do?

I’d be a lorry driver, or a pilot, even though I cannot drive and the only time I ever flew, was over the handlebars of my friends bike when I was about 14.

What if someones underwear was showing, would you tell them?

Hmm, I had to ponder this one for a while. There are a couple of scenarios.

  • Lady leaves public restrooms. Her skirt has somehow become caught in her waistband and her granny pants are on show for all to see. Do I say anything? Hell yes, I mean I would want someone to repay that favor, were the situation reversed.
  • Young gentleman, wearing jeans that are much closer to hell than they are heaven. Do I say anything? Hell no, never again, been there, done that, got the t shirt. The reply was “Thanks Grandma, don’t you know that’s the fashion these days.” I do now sunshine, thanks, now give Mr Klein his underwear back before he notices they are gone.
What if you woke up in bed and saw a huge spider walking over you, what would you do?

Scream, then scream a little bit more. I also might throw in a couple of eeks for good measure. I’m not actually scared of spiders, but for the purpose of this question I am assuming that huge means HUGE and it’s about the size of a dinner plate, and no one wants to be faced with that bad boy when just waking up!

What if your cell phone fell in the toilet, what would you do?

Flush! and then wash my hands, because hygiene is really important.

I’d then wait about 3 weeks and ring it to see if anyone answered. After having my 20 minute telephone conversation with Tina from Timbucktoo, I’d get get straight onto the Patenting office about my new invention “The Modern Day Message In A Bottle”

What about you, what’s your best What if question?