What if your sofa could speak?

If your sofa could speak

What would it say

Might it tell the dogs

Get your stinking paws off of me

It might even suggest

To keep the popcorn to yourself

If you can’t eat without dropping

Then just leave it on the shelf

Where would you be

Without the ability to relax

What if the sofa

Started charging you tax

It might even ask

You put away your feet

It just couldn’t take

The way they did stink

You take it for granted

Thinking it will always be there

But what if the sofa

Took off to the fair

You’d be losing a friend

You didn’t know you had

The family would just joke

Saying, awww that’s too bad

They would add in their take

Telling you right fast

Maybe it’s a sign

To get off your lazy ass!

What if a pirate I could be?

If a pirate I could be, I’d sail the salty sea

Tossing to and fro until the lookout yells land-ho

We’d make our way aground to see what could be found

Entering the local village to plunder and to pillage

Tales are always told about a treasure chest of gold

But a pirate’s life is gritty and anything but pretty

I could make you walk the plank just for saying I stank

You landlubbiin swine, maybe I’ll take your wine

Rough you up for fun then finish with a pint of rum

The places I would go, the people I would know

If only I could be, it’d be a pirate’s life for me!

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Written for the Sunday Photo Fiction Prompt and inspired by the photo above.

What if? – The Sunday silly

What if I was jazzy

The right amount of zazzy

If I had the sway

I’d be all the rage today

You couldn’t resist my appeal

It would be so unreal

I would be the cure

And have all the allure

Oh, what if I was cool

And made all the girlies drool

Maybe even a few guys

I would be such a prize

If only I wasn’t a slob

Or not this big ole blob!

Blobs want to be liked too!

What if your town was invaded by clowns?

Clowns, clowns they’re everywhere!

So many clowns, so much bright hair!

Red noses, frowning faces and really big feet

They line every inch of every single street

Some blow balloons, some do a dance

Others lean over and split their pants

They try their hardest to make others laugh

Hoping for a smile from one of their gaffes

There are just too many, too many clowns

The town seems scared, horror abounds

How do we stop them, they keep multiplying

It’s just not right, the kids are all crying

Can somebody call the clown police

It’s time for the town to have some peace

They gather them up from near and far

I wonder how did they all fit in one police car

Hopefully for now things will settle down

Until next week when the circus comes to town.

What if I owned my own tank?

If I owned a big tank

First place I’d go was the bank

Park it in just the right space

And point it just the right place

Go in and see Mr. Malone

Dare him to say no to my loan

He might want to be a bit careful

Before he starts mentioning collateral

If I called a tank mine

I would drive it all the time

I know it don’t drive that fast

But man the trip is a blast

Everyone better stay out of my way

Or they might have a really bad day

With my tank I don’t use the brakes

Sometimes cars become pancakes

If a tank I could drive

Man I’d feel so alive

I’d travel all night and day

Try to stop me I blow you away

The tank has a really big gun

I shoot it and you are done

The blast makes such a sight

I laugh with complete delight

A tank and I’d be so happy

I know it sounds a bit sappy

Just imagine the fun to be had

I guess I enjoy being a bit bad

Now the police want to get involved

I fire once and the problems resolved

No more police to get in my way

But now the army they want to play

A tank has now got me in trouble

It seems I created too much rubble

I was just having a bit of fun

Now my actions have me on the run

See the army they have tanks too

Their saying I’ll get what I’m due

I’ve created such a big mess

I’m scared now I must confess

I thought owning a tank would be great

Instead it has sealed my fate

My destructive days are all done

This time the authorities have won

I might be on my way to jail

But I’ve got quite a tale to tell

Getting caught was never the plan

But I’ll do it all again if I can

What if I faked my life?

Sometimes it feels as if I am lost.

I stand on the outside and stare in on life.

I can only watch as the mistakes unfold.

Why did I not see the fault in my actions?

Why couldn’t I step in and stop the shame?

Do others see me as I see myself?

Do they know I am lost, adrift in the wind?

Where am I going, where have I been?

I think it’s time I take control

Find my way and make my choices

I need to be more than I am

No more drifting, just getting by

Time for me to be a better man

Faking my life no longer an option

Living the fullest is now my plan

What if Cupid was pissed?

The last time Cupid was seen was at the local store scene

He was hovering overhead thinking how romance might be dead

He stayed there for a while just counting aisle after aisle

Of products with bling even teddy bears that sing

Most covered in hearts or with candy coated parts

The prices were obscene for a few romantic things

Valentine’s day had become all about the scene.

Flowers are the best way to make it a lovely day

And some candy to eat would be a nice treat

A poem you write could make someone’s night

If you wanted to be just a bit naughty

It’s totally free and perfectly okay with me.

Yet everyone just spends and always pretends

Love is about stuff and it’s never enough.

When did the heart become a selling plot?

Cupid feels dissed and now he is pissed

He cut his night short after receiving the report

That people were broke and had lost all hope

Maybe what we spend should be time with our friends

Instead of lots of money trying to impress our honey

What if we weren’t so prone to being afraid to be alone

We should all bail on the products they sell

And just be together and care for one another

Keeping cupid in mind while we try to find

The love that means everything.

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Just saw the topic for this weeks writing challenge on daily post and thought this kind of fit the theme.