What if your sofa could speak?

If your sofa could speak

What would it say

Might it tell the dogs

Get your stinking paws off of me

It might even suggest

To keep the popcorn to yourself

If you can’t eat without dropping

Then just leave it on the shelf

Where would you be

Without the ability to relax

What if the sofa

Started charging you tax

It might even ask

You put away your feet

It just couldn’t take

The way they did stink

You take it for granted

Thinking it will always be there

But what if the sofa

Took off to the fair

You’d be losing a friend

You didn’t know you had

The family would just joke

Saying, awww that’s too bad

They would add in their take

Telling you right fast

Maybe it’s a sign

To get off your lazy ass!

What if I couldn’t control my emotions?

There are days when I really just want to scream. Go outside and just wail to the top of my lungs and not stop until I feel I’ve got everything out. Luckily for the neighbors I can usually control myself and not let my emotions get the best of me.

When I was little it was a different story. I had the worst temper as a child and would let almost anything upset me. My siblings even nicknamed me Madman and would purposely attempt to see how angry they could make me. They turned it into a game, instead of hide and seek they wanted to play Madman.

As I got older I learned to suppress the anger and keep it bottled up inside. It started to matter more that I didn’t upset others rather than being upset myself. As long as everyone else is happy I can deal with a bit of frustration. Now I am getting even older and things seem to be changing once again.

What if I highlighted a couple new blogs for you?

I don’t normally do this but seeing as the What if thought juice was running a little dry this week (I couldn’t quite get a regular post written) I figured why not! I have a couple brand new blogs to tell you about.

First off I need to introduce you to a Fictionally Fabulous Character created by our very own Indecisive Eeejit. May Dupp had so much spirit she worked her way right into her very own blog. Please take a minute to visit The Misadventures of May Dupp and show her some follower love!

Next is a creation from my own mind. I have been known to, on occasion, go on a ranting fit. If I find the right thing I can easily let out a few sentences about just how much it has annoyed me. The problem is I normally either don’t say it or just mumble it under my breath. So I figured, why not say it on a blog!

Please head over and join the ranting on The Ranting Never Stops. I want it to be not only my place to go and rant, but a place for others to share their rants as well. You can be a follower and just enjoy the rants or be a contributor and share yours. Just check out the contact page to find out how.

A couple new places to get your chills and thrills, or to just enjoy a fun blog post. Thanks for stopping in and please check out these new sites.

What if Cupid was pissed?

The last time Cupid was seen was at the local store scene

He was hovering overhead thinking how romance might be dead

He stayed there for a while just counting aisle after aisle

Of products with bling even teddy bears that sing

Most covered in hearts or with candy coated parts

The prices were obscene for a few romantic things

Valentine’s day had become all about the scene.

Flowers are the best way to make it a lovely day

And some candy to eat would be a nice treat

A poem you write could make someone’s night

If you wanted to be just a bit naughty

It’s totally free and perfectly okay with me.

Yet everyone just spends and always pretends

Love is about stuff and it’s never enough.

When did the heart become a selling plot?

Cupid feels dissed and now he is pissed

He cut his night short after receiving the report

That people were broke and had lost all hope

Maybe what we spend should be time with our friends

Instead of lots of money trying to impress our honey

What if we weren’t so prone to being afraid to be alone

We should all bail on the products they sell

And just be together and care for one another

Keeping cupid in mind while we try to find

The love that means everything.

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Just saw the topic for this weeks writing challenge on daily post and thought this kind of fit the theme.

What if I just wanted to scream?!!!!!

Do you ever feel the need to just take a minute to yourself, gather your thoughts and then let out a blood curdling scream unlike any other you have ever done before? That’s where I am right now. After a few weeks, months of up and down emotion then dealing with the loss of my father and in turn the reactions of family and friends I’m on the brink of a meltdown. Now this isn’t an I’m crazy, please clear the way or something bad could happen type of meltdown. It’s the I need a break, a little quiet time, a moment to spend with myself type.

Family is a wonderful thing and I am blessed to have a very large, loving family that gets along and doesn’t mind spending time together. At some point I just reached my limit for one on one time. I don’t mean to make it sound like I don’t want or need the interactions with others, I just need a little downtime as well which has been extremely tough to find recently.

This has become even more apparent at work this week as well. Along with all the friendly gestures of co-workers and clients I have been assigned to train two new employees. I figured at first, hey great maybe it can keep my mind occupied. After the first couple days the pressure has been building greatly and I feel the scream gnawing at my insides. You see I have been working the same job for more than ten years and know almost all the ins and outs, but these two newbies are fresh off the street. Both are cooperative and quick to learn, but the act of training is so stressful on top of the already built up stress of these past few months.

What if I’m just not ready for this aging thing?

Okay, I am just a few months shy of my fortieth birthday and something has come to my attention. Aging really sucks! I know some of you out there are probably saying “forty, that’s not old” or “you don’t know anything about aging just yet”. To that I say maybe not, but I’m learning quickly.

Pictures courtesy of pixabay.com

In reference to aging I’m not talking about the aches and pains (which I have) or certain parts that sag more than they used to (have that too). No what has really bothered me lately is the lack of technical knowledge. It’s only been a couple years since everyone in the family used to come to me to ask about the latest computer or new technology. What phone should I get or which computer would be better were regular questions and I always had a great suggestion I was comfortable giving.

So the other day someone asked me about a Smart TV and I tried to answer to the best of my ability. My problem was I really didn’t have the answer. I didn’t know and was lost just at the thought. When did this happen? When did technology bypass me?

The more I thought about it the more it upset me. I realized I don’t own a smart phone or an I-pad and don’t know a lot about them. I understand what an app is but that’s about all. If you start a TV conversation talking about pixels, refresh rate or browsers your probably going to lose me fairly quickly. What’s the differences between android systems? Yeah, right. Like I could tell you that.

I keep thinking, why does my eight year old nephew know more about my new laptop than I do? How long before I’m one of those older folks making comments like “I don’t understand all this new technology” or “I don’t even know how to turn on one of those.” Not very long it seems. So I started to wonder what are my options? Should I just not worry about it or do I need to catch up with the times?

Right now there are new gaming systems being released that I know nothing about. I heard a discussion about the differences and what made the X-box one better than the PS4 or vice versa and I was lost. I didn’t completely understand half the conversation. I just don’t know how much more of this I can take!

Has anyone seen that commercial where the guy uses his phone to turn off everything in his house including the water faucet even though he isn’t home? That guy looks to be older than forty and he seems to have the hang of new technology so why not me? I consider myself to be a fairly smart guy who can pick up almost anything if I really put my mind to it. So any suggestions for me? Can I catch up or is technology just changing too fast for this aging brain?

It might just be too late. I’m afraid the next time I purchase a new TV I’m going to need to get some Geek Squad support.

Okay, what if I made some changes?

I posted a short story this morning based on a photo prompt and after checking to see how it looked on my blog I realized something. Okay, what if is not the same blog it used to be. I’ve gotten away from my what if posts a little and now write more short stories, poems and flash fiction. (Remember the old posts, What if I could have a conversation with my dog? or What if you could really open up a can of Whoop-Ass?) The problem is when I have a good what if idea I’m almost afraid to post it because I feel like maybe I’m posting too much. The Weekly what if challenges also seem to be getting lost among these posts.

How do I tend to cope with this you may ask. Well I decided to try something different, to make a few changes around here. Please bear with me as I find my way through this. This morning I created a new blog. I have named it JED’s Playhouse and will use it to post my responses to other’s challenges and daily prompts along with most of my short stories and flash fiction. This will leave Okay, what if? to be a site which stands alone, a little different from most. This is the way I saw it at the start.

I enjoy writing the stories and challenge responses too much to give up doing them, but they seemed to be cluttering it up a little here. If you enjoyed my stories please visit my new blog at Jed’s Playground and hit the follow button. There isn’t much there now but it will be going full force soon, I promise.

Along with this change I have decided to move the Weekly what if writing challenge? to Monday from now on. This will give me a full day on Sunday to post the update from the previous weeks challenge and work on the post to come out early on Monday. It’s been tough to do the updates the last couple weeks and I hope this will alleviate some of the time constraints they have put me in. I also believe by removing some of the other posts that don’t go along with the theme it hopefully will make the challenges stand out more and we can get a few more responses.

My author id has changed as well. I have dropped the iamfunny2 moniker and decided to go with JED. I hope this doesn’t confuse too many people. This works for both blogs and it fits a little better. Click the photo below to hop over to JED’s Playhouse for some fun. Thanks to everybody for understanding my need to change, hopefully I’ll be able to keep you entertained with two great sites from now on.

Visit JED’s Playhouse