Have you ever wondered what super-heroes do after they just saved the planet from destruction? How do they unwind after a long day of catching baddies? Do they go home alone, having no one to share the day’s events with?
Well the folks at Anheuser Busch decided it was time to show a little appreciation for their sacrifices. They decided to throw a huge bash and invite every known super-hero for an amazing evening in honor of everything they do for the world. All the food, entertainment and beverages to be provided at no cost. Just a relaxing night of fun among super powered colleagues.
It was a winning idea for the Anheuser Busch company. They were able to associate their products with the super-heroes everyone loved and the amount of free advertising received from the media coverage was enormous. They leased out a football stadium, invited all known heroes and brought in truckloads of food and beer. Everything about the party was a huge success and the atmosphere surrounding was almost like an Oscars buzz. The heroes were led in on a red carpet among photographers and hordes of fans.
A few hours into the night things began turning. The fact that some of these super-heroes did not get along or had grudges against one another was never considered. There was arguing among the guests as to whether certain “heroes” actually belonged. People like the Punisher, Spawn and Green Arrow were even asked to leave by the others, citing a true hero shouldn’t leave a trail of bodies behind. Needless to say they didn’t take it well.
There was scuffles and even a few brawls started up and the security was unable to diffuse the situation. How does one stop a pissed off, intoxicated, super powered being who can shoot fire from his eyes after all? They don’t and that created a major problem. Everyone outside the venue was cheering for their heroes while inside the place was being completely trashed. The chaos and destruction eventually could no longer be contained. It spilled over into the night causing panic among the spectators.
The panicking onlookers began to trample one another in an attempt to flee. It took members of the police and national guard to finally calm the situation but not before multiple injuries were suffered. The heroes were all told to disperse but were not monitored from there. Most made there way home without incident, but a few found themselves in additional trouble.
Wonder Woman crashed her invisible plane into the side of a mountain and was found unconscious and near death two days later when a hiker happened upon the scene. Luckily for her he took a new trail that day or she may not have survived. The recovery of the plane was near impossible due to the rough terrain and the fact that the debris was invisible.
Ghost Rider drove his fire covered motorcycle on a straight line for his lair and that was the problem. He didn’t take roads, just drove through anything in his way leaving homes, businesses and even highway interchanges destroyed and burning. Can you imagine waking up to a demon on his flaming motorcycle using your bedroom as his personal street? A few people no longer have to.
It has never been confirmed, but there were rumors Batman broke into Arkham Asylum and was threatening the female inmates. He was said to have offered to pull out his bat dildo and go bat shit crazy on their privates. Everyone was appalled by the behavior, everyone except the Joker that is. He was ready to take Bats up on his offer before Robin and Alfred were said to have dragged Batman from the facility kicking and screaming like a child.
Wolverine was spotted at a bridge underpass disoriented among a group of the homeless. He was stumbling around and slurring his words badly but let’s face it, this was probably pretty normal behavior for him. He always finds his way back to Xavier’s school eventually.
Spider-Man was hit by a transfer truck, leaving a large splatter mark across the windshield. Mr. Fantastic was trying to show off and tied himself in a knot that took seven workers and three days to untangle. Storm passed out and her dream led to Hurricane Ororo which destroyed several cities on the eastern US coastline. The Flash lost his balance during a cross country run leading to multiple severe pavement burns and more than twenty crashed vehicles from his three mile tumbling slide on Interstate 20.
For nearly a week after the party the super-villains were running wild. They took full advantage of the heroes recovery time by robbing, destroying and terrorizing the public. No one realized the bad idea the party was until it was too late. Most of these heroes had never drank alcohol or been able to attend parties before, so they were incapable of handling the new situation.
This one party left a fierce path of destruction in it’s wake, sent the publics appreciation of it’s heroes spiraling downward and almost put the Anheuser Busch company out of business after settling all the lawsuits involved. A few heroes disappeared, presumably going into hiding, not able to deal with the embarrassment of their antics.
There is always a moral or two when super-heroes are involved and this story is no different.
Do not mix alcohol and heroes!
Too many heroes can be a bad thing!
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