It seems the Daily Prompt is giving away superpowers today. You get to choose between time travel, an ability to speak and understand any language or ability to make any two people agree. So these are all great choices and I decided to choose, none of the above. I mean if they have enough that they are just giving away superpowers, they must have a few they are keeping for themselves. I want some of the ones they are holding back. Those are going to be the best ones.
Sure time travel would be awesome, until you made a mistake that caused a tragedy so severe you would never use your powers again. Speaking and understanding any language would be a wonderful ability if you were working customer service at a large call center, but how does it qualify as a superpower? To me it just sounds like something that would cause a lot of work and for other people to rely on you too much. The ability to make any two people agree sounds like a lot of fun (Yes it even caused a few dirty thoughts), but what if you are wrong a lot and you make people agree with the wrong answers? Just because someone agrees doesn’t mean everything will work out.
So what do they have left I can talk them out of? Maybe the expected powers like X-ray vision, super strength or the ability to fly. Or maybe something a little different like astral projection or an ability to breathe in any environment (Hey I could finally go swimming without fear of drowning). Still, none of these are quite right. Wait, I know. It’s perfect. I want the ability to talk to and understand any life form! Not any language like the prompt says, but any animal, fish or extra terrestrial.
She can stay.
I could spend my days talking with the squirrels and birds outside, then come in and get drunk with my dogs. Can you just imagine what kind of things a drunk dog would say?
If the aliens ever visit I could befriend them and learn their ways or at least be less likely to be disintegrated by them if they chose to attack.
Maybe I could talk the animals into doing a show for me, like a Broadway musical. Cats performed by squirrels, raccoons and yes, even cats.
I could go the beach and if I didn’t like how busy it was, just ask a shark to swim real close in and watch the other people flee. Then give the shark a high five, errr high fin, well you get it.
I’m sure there is a lot of gossip I could get from the animals. Imagine that time you let it rip in the yard because no one was around, then realized you had done a little more than just poot and had to sneak back inside to change before anyone saw (or smelt). You probably didn’t notice the squirrel hanging out in the tree above who was laughing so hard he nearly fell off the limb, but he saw you and now he will tell me all about it. Just to clarify, this experience is just an example and has never happened to me (you can’t believe the squirrel, he’s a liar).
So what do you think. Was it wrong of me to turn down their offer of a superpower and hope for a better one? Can you think of something that would be an even more awesome power to have? If you want to see what others thought about the Superpowers offered check out the following posts.